Ohhhh, the Joys of a Mom

In a whisper and eyeing sheepishly...
Daradie: I need to tell you something.
Me: Ummm, okay (I'm not really one that enjoys a whisper--too close, hot breath, heavy breathing.....).
Daradie: Don't tell Dad, but you're my favorite.
Me: Really?!? But, why?
Daradie: Girls have to stick together.

Whisperings of sweet somethings.
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These are just some old jokes that stem from my dad's comical background and I try to use the material on my children, but they're just not ready for them but I laugh.

1. While driving past the cemetery....
Koen: Look! The cemetery!
Daradie: Why is there a gate around the cemetery?
Me: To keep the dead people inside.
Koen: Why?
Daradie: Why do the dead people have to stay inside?
Me: Well, we can't have them walking around scaring people out of their skins! (Thanks to dear sweet cousin Kirk, the actual punch line is that other people are dying to get in. But hey, a true comedian can go with the flow, right?)

2. While watching a television show:
Dan: Look at that guy swimming.
Daradie: He doesn't have any arms.
Dan: Nope and he's swimming for 2 miles.
Koen: Why doesn't he have arms?
Dan: Wow! (now the race is finished) He doesn't have any legs either.
Koen: How did he swim without his legs and arms?
Daradie: Who's that talking? The swimmer guy? What's his name?
Me: Bob.
(Go ahead and laugh. I only got the rolling of the eyes from Dan.)